Today a Year Ago

Though Cache's B. Day is today, his story starts yesterday 1 year ago -

Last year on May 13th I had a routine Dr. Appt. I had just started my 2 weeks appts. 2 weeks earlier the Dr walked in and said, "Whoa you are big" and told me I was measuring two weeks ahead and had a little protein in my urine but other than that looked good. The day after, I started swelling. My ankles, which are normally quite skinny, had rolls on them. My hands and face started swelling and my vision started blurring at odd times of the day without a headache that would normally present itself shortly after.

I went into the Dr about a week later because I had heard of something called Pre-eclampsia and had almost all of the symptoms. My Dr wasn't in but the nurse sent me away saying my Blood Pressure wasn't bad so just don't eat very much salt and keep off my feet. I, of course, was in the middle of our END OF LEVELS week at school and keeping off my feet wasn't an option.

So, on the 13th I went in for my appt more swollen than ever. There I learned that I did have pre-eclampsia and was going down to Mckay Dee either by helicopter or ambulance ( it was ambulance in the end) because I was under 32 weeks and Logan Regional didn't have a NICU that could handle our baby which was going to come sometime in the next couple of days. I learned I would not be back to school for the rest of the school year. (There was only 15 days left but sooooo much to do.)

We didn't have a crib, name, car seat, clothes, diapers, bottles, blankets, or anything else for that matter that has to do with a baby. We had NOTHING! We weren't expecting to have to for another 2 months. The Dr took great care of me, even helped John give me a blessing before I headed to Mckay Dee. Once I got there we waited all night and part of the next day till at 1:11pm Cache was born by emergency C-section because his heart rate dropped every time I contracted.

The worst part - The epidural - they hit a nerve and I thought I was going to die, or at least be paralyzed for the rest of my life.

The best part - Seeing my sweet baby with all his dark curly hair and black eye.

Another bad part - I couldn't hold him for a very long time. They did wheel my in to see him, but I was pretty loopy at that moment.

Finally getting to hold him was incredible! It was hard to believe. Such a whirlwind experience. I couldn't believe I was actually a mom.

A while later I remember someone asked if we had decided to give him a name and a blessing right after he was born. I remember thinking "Why?" but then realized that's what people do when they don't think their baby is going to live. I realized then that Heavenly Father had blessed us with the knowledge, not just faith, that everything was going to be ok. It never was a question in our minds. We knew Cache would be ok. We knew we would get to keep our little guy.At least at that moment we did.

Looking back it's hard to remember all the details. It's a good thing we did our journaling through this blog to help us out in that area. I can't forget some of the feelings I had though. I can't forget the dramatic impact Cache made on our lives so immediately during his arrival. He is THE BEST thing that has happened to us! We wanted our little baby so badly, and he apparently wanted us too to come so early.

I can't remember this day without thinking about how amazing John was through all of this. I really did marry the most amazing man. He was and is my strength. My best friend. He was there crying and smiling with me. He is the BEST daddy and he will continue to be. He is helpful and happy and positive and such a hard worker. I love him so much and am so grateful for both my boys!

Happy Birthday Cache! We love you!