Written: 4/16/10 Posted now cause I realized I shouldn't be afraid of what other people think of me or about how this might be too personal on my own blog! Don't read it if you don't want to know what I'm thinking or feeling. :)
I can do hard things!: This was our theme last year for Young Womens, and it has been my theme this year at work.
I made possibly the hardest decision I've ever had to make today. I turned in my letter of resignation.
I love my job.
I love my Principal.
I love teaching.
I love the people I work with.
I love making a difference in the lives of children.
I love the opportunity to continually learn.
But...... I LOVE my child.
I've known for a long time that I needed to give up something good (my job) where I truly am making a difference, for something better (at home motherhood) where I can potentially make the difference that Heavenly Father wants me to make in my own child's life. That is my divine role and I need to be fulfilling it.
The reason this was such a hard decision: John does not have a full time job yet. We have a mortgage, and a few other small debts and I am the primary bread winner. Our hope was that I would be able to stay home and John would get a job, but I would wait for that Amazing full time job. Then I would sign a letter of resignation. Then we would be secure and I wouldn't lose my VERY stable job in a not so stable economy.
Why the change? I listened to conference. Whether the talks were actually about how important motherhood and families are or not, that's what I heard. Then I got to have a wonderful Spring Break where I got to spend every day, all day with my sweet baby and I loved it. ( I knew I would) And it just hit me, HARD, that I needed to show more faith. I shouldn't wait for John to have a job, I needed to show my faith NOW. I needed to make the decision to stay home no matter what the circumstance. That's where I need to be and I have NO doubt in my mind about it.
So, Monday I talked to my principal and today I turned in my letter. It's bitter sweet. It feels good to have that over with, but now the feeling of uncertainty has set in with what will happen next fall. It doesn't really matter I suppose as long as I am where Heavenly Father wants me to be. And when all is said and done, I've learned more about myself. I CAN do hard things. And it's worth it, to give up something good for something better.
16 comments:
LOVED this post!! Conference really did hit home...especially for us mothers didn't it!?!
I so proud of you...haha...that makes me sound like a mother..but seriously...sometimes taking that leap of faith can be the hardest thing ever! The uncertainty in situations can often grab hold of people and it is easy to rationalize staying put right where you are at where things are perfectly fine...but like you said...good...not best. So good for you going for "BEST". I hope I can be like this in life too!
Thank you for your wonderful words and post!! Your an awesome MOTHER!
Anna I am so jealous. I wish I was turning in my letter. When I heard conference I felt so guilty and wished I could be home with my daughter. Unfortunately we wouldn't be able to pay bills if I didn't,and I do have an amazing mother-in-law who dotes on Morgan every day with no other kids to watch. I am proud of you for taking that leap I wish I too could take. Way to follow your heart.
I just want you to know how much you will be missed. Please stop by often so we can see you and your sweet baby boy. :)
Awesome post! I don't think I've ever commented before, but I had to this time. I've been asked a million times how we do it, with 4 kids and me at home for the last 7 years. The answer is faith. We certainly don't make a huge amount of money, but we pay tithing, have faith and so far we've never wanted for the real things we need.
If you felt this is what you should do, I know that things will work out for you some how. Again, I loved this post.
Such a sweet and inspiring heart-felt post. I hate making hard decisions!!! But you are right...we can do hard things. I know you will be blessed because of your faith...and even more that your faith turned to action. Thank you for sharing!
Way to go Anna! I bet that WAS a very hard decision to make, but I don't think it's one that you will regret. I admire you bunches!
I am pretty much bawling reading your post. You are an amazing person and you have a ton of faith! Thanks for reminding me why I stay home. :) It is easy to forget sometimes.
Wow! So I read this post while in my classroom right before the students came back from Prep. Dang pushing back the tears was not easy. You hit home for me. This year has been such a hard one for me, leaving my son behind and going to work. I have been thinking about staying at home and we have been in the same situation as you. YOU are amazing to have that FAITH. Thank you for this post.
Anna you will not regret it. Although times may be hard being at home is the best and most awesome decision I have ever made. I understand the money thing. I had to work for three months just after I had jackson. We had not sold our first home and were moving in to our second so with two mortgages it was tough. Then finally I just went for it I put in my time. I felt and it was time for me to be with my baby. Then just after I gave my notice our house sold. It was meant to be. Now Josh makes a third of what he did before but with us being much more frugal and not having any bills we have been able to make it just fine. Its been stressfull at times but wouldn't change it for the world. We "can do hard things" yay..
What a very hard test of faith. The blessings will come and your family will be okay. I am feeling the same way. Doug is graduating and no jobs yet...scary!! But family is what it's all about. Good luck with everything. You are a wonderful mother!
I have to agree with some of the other comments, your faith is amazing... I admire you for that, little Cache is lucky to have you for his mom :)
I too was inspired by conference, wow, crazy how much they stressed the importance of family, a little intimidating and scary. But I think it is by doing the hard things that we really realize what's important...
We miss you guys again... and maybe next time we're both in St. George we can meet up :) Also again, Sawyer say another baby boy and yelled out "hi Cache" haha
Congrats on that choice. I can relate that it IS a hard choice!! And financially it didn't make sense for Jeff and I when I chose to stop working and be a full time SAHM. But we made it work and Jeff ended up being offered a better paying research position after funding was cut to his current research.
You are a wonderful example. I look forward to seeing what wonderful opportunities come your way!
Thanks for sharing. You can do it! You will be blessed. Either way (working or not), you are a great mom. I know you love Cache with every fiber of your being. Take Care and hope things work out.
I heard a lot about motherhood in Conference too. Which was so nice because I personally think that being a stay at home mom is one of the most important things to do, but also one of the HARDEST things to do.
You will miss teaching, and you will miss being a professional and having a career. I miss it every day. But just remember that it will be there again when you are ready, and your children's lives will be so blessed for your decision and sacrafice to stay at home. It is hard, but worth it!! Your awesome!
Post a Comment