For the past two weeks I have been trying to find a solution to our #1 parenting problem. I've told this sob story more than once, and complained tons, but it really is a problem. I've decided I need help, either in the form of encouragement, or advice, or offers to let my children sleep at someone else's house, etc.
So here it is: My older kids wake up too early. Wah Wah Wah... I know, but seriously TOOOOO EARLY!
Here are just a few examples:
Last week, I can't remember which morning, I woke up at 4:00 to feed the baby. I noticed the stair light on which was definitely off when I went to bed. I woke up John and asked if he had turned it on. Nope. So I got up to investigate. My 3 yr old's bedroom's light was on as well. Oh boy. I went and checked and she was asleep in her bed. Confused I went to check the stairs and also noticed the downstairs living room and bathroom light on. Books were all over the floor in the living room and a chair had been pulled up to the light switch in the bathroom and the toilet un-flushed. I think most people can guess how this played out but just in case you need a little bit of help I'll explain. Sometime between 10:30 pm and 4:00 AM my 3 yr old daughter got up, turned on her light, then went all the way downstairs and turned on that light, the living room light and the bathroom light. At some point she carried a chair from the living room into the bathroom to turn on that light then used the bathroom, and read books in the living room. I'm not exactly sure in which order. Then came back upstairs and went back to bed. I don't know how long she was up. Then, that morning wakes up around 6:00.
Here are the problems:
1. What if she were to be wandering around outside, instead of inside?
2. What if she were to climb up on something and get seriously injured and we'd never know?
3. What about my clean house!?
4. How is she functioning on such little sleep???
5. How am I functioning on such little sleep?????????
Another morning, I noticed she's up around 5:30 AM. I take her to the bathroom then I put her back in her room and shut the door so it's harder to get out. We kinda have lame doors in our house. They get stuck easily, but don't lock. Anyway, she was stuck, so instead of yelling, Mom, I have to go to the bathroom, she pees on her floor. I'm pretty sure on purpose, since she had already been to the bathroom once.
Problem. #6. I can't even lock her in her room, or she will pee all over it.
Another morning I woke up to find the kids sneaking around eating all the Valentine Candy they could find along with crackers from the pantry and a hand full of cherry tomatoes.
Problem #7. They are eating as soon as they wake up.They ransack the cupboards and fridge and make a complete mess and could choke and die, and I'd never know. Plus, then they are not hungry for breakfast, just in snacking mode for the rest of the day. I think that was actually a lot more problems than just #7!
I'm not waking up at 10:00 AM! not even 9! Not even 8! I'm waking up at 7 AM or earlier and finding this EVERY SINGLE MORNING!!!!!!!!
It doesn't matter how many times I put them back in their beds. EVERY morning they are up at completely ridiculous hours. It doesn't matter if they take naps or not. Especially for the 3 yr. old. If she doesn't take a nap she crashes around 6 PM and then is up at 4 AM. NOT OK!!!!! How does she function???!!!!!!!!!!
I'm seriously at a loss.
Now that brings me to this morning. John leaves the house at around 5:40. Right before he leaves he notices the light on downstairs, and finds Season down there. He doesn't know how long she's been there, but he puts her back in her room and tells her to go back to bed. I hear all of this, so after he leaves I wait and listen. 2 minutes later She is getting back out of bed and going into her brother's room to try to wake him up. I jump out of bed, put her back in her room, tell her to go to bed and close her door. About 10 minutes later she opens her door. I get up to put her back in bed, she tell me she peed on her floor. Lovely. I make her get in the other bed in her room. Next is to put Cache back in his bed since I discover that he is now up as well and has snuck downstairs. I'm still not sure how he did that. I was really on guard. It's still not even 6 AM yet! This went on and on, me putting them back in their rooms and threatening them with their lives for another 40 minutes till I finally jumped in the shower. Before I had even gotten out they were yelling that Ruby was awake now, which only happened because they had once again gotten out of their rooms and woke her up.
By 10:00 AM they were cranky, I was cranky and still am. Hmmmmmmmmm.......
So, here's what I'm thinking.
Plan #1 Change the 3 yr old's door knob out for one that locks on the outside and put a little kiddy potty in her room. She will have to stay there till 7:00 AM. She really is the one that keeps waking up her brother.
*** My problem with this plan is it feels so mean! Although, I was much meaner earlier today when I flipped out over her constant whining, she would have been safer to just stay in her room for sure. And what if she refuses to use that little potty and pees everywhere again. Yucky!!!!
Plan #2 Try a sticker chart/reward system where she can earn a treat or something if she stays in her room for a certain number of times.
***My problem with this plan.... While this seems much kinder right now, is it in the long run? Should she be getting rewarded for something she should be doing anyway??? Will this teach her that she deserves a reward every time she does something good, instead of doing good just because it's right?
And.... That's all I got. Anyone else have a different plan or a vote for #1 or #2. Any input is appreciated. :)
6 comments:
Positive reinforcement of good behavior seems to be a fairly well recognized behavior modification model. When I was a social work intern for a school district I worked with a class of elementary school students who had anger/ behavior issues. We used to give the kids play money when we would catch them doing something good, and ignore the bad behaviors (as much as possible). They could use the money to buy prizes at the end of the week. I like you r reward system idea. I think you should try it first and if it doesn't work after a week or two go the mean route. We have used "mean" tactics as well with our kids that we can talk about with you in person some time if you want :)
In my work at the care center we employ a lot of positive reinforcement techniques designed to help them feel like they are making progress toward something they want- this can be faded out gradually when the behavior starts to just become a habit- or when they have learned enough to want to complete the task without having any kind of "reward". Also- I have found with destructive or negative behaviors i.e. peeing on the floor) that there needs to be a consequence pretty immediately or as soon as it is discovered. Having her clean it up herself is one possible solution- because no girl wants to do that. Just some thoughts.
Maybe you already have a clock in her room but if not get a digital clock and make a poster with the time she can come out by it. If she does reward her if not punish?
I have even heard of clocks that the sun comes up when it's day( you set the time for when they can come out) and it stays dark/moon until. Depending on how much you want to invest
I am so sorry:( Gavin Doesnt sleep much either, but is still In a crib so it's not near as bad. I hope it gets better for you and you find something that works. there is a really cool clock I saw that changes from a moon and stars to a sun with clouds when they can get out of bed. You set the time and it will change so they have an idea of when they can get up. I don't know if it would work at all for this...I was going to get one for Ellie, but it was kind of pricey.
Anna! I'm so sorry. This is almost literally a NIGHTMARE! Before I even read your solutions, I was thinking you should somehow lock her in. I know, I know. It does sound mean. I do it to Evie though. I put one of those child proof door knobs on the inside handle. I've never really told anyone that I lock her in, but it really saves me. Her door is literally 3 feet away from mine, which gives me more piece of mind, because I can hear every little thing going on in there.
If she gets up early, she looks at her books and plays by herself. You need to do what works for you. Use your Mama instinct!
I was thinking of the day and night clock too. It might give her some idea of what the goal is here. I would say that a sticker chart would be a good idea, but only if she responds well to that method. She may not be able wake up with the remembrance of trying to earn a sticker, or maybe she can. Its worth a shot.
You are a good mom!! Good luck! (And #1 is not too mean. If she pees all over, that would really be awful, but maybe you could use pull ups if it comes to that. But locking the door when she is within distance for you to hear her, is just helping to keep her safe from all the dangers you mentioned if she gets out of earshot.)
Post a Comment